I have not painted in weeks, weeks and more weeks.
As cliche as it may sound, I am one of those artists who paints her way through pain and hardship. It's as if the soul of my creativity lives in my most uncomfortable moments of growth and solitude. Art is my gentle surrender to life's ebbs & flows... my way of befriending my demons and truly facing my darkness like, "I'm not leaving until we work this out." Since the day I picked up a paint brush, I have used art as a medium to give a voice to areas in my life where I felt voiceless and disconnected from myself and others. It's not in my nature to go shouting my pains (or anything) from the mountain tops, as it is with many people who also tend to conceal their true state of being from the world... especially when asked a question as simple as, "How are you?".
In person, I will likely respond as typically as anyone else... I'm okay. But, the truth is on the canvas. I can be honest there and connect with myself, and even with others, in very healing and soul-filling ways.
My art is about resilience, self-discovery and growth and all the beautiful ways my pain has led me there. But, as I've began to emerge from the fog of depression, I've noticed that I paint much less and it's always been that way.
My happy ass has been soaking up this blazing sunshine, focusing on my goals and what not... which is all good but I can't help but to feel a little guilty for neglecting my creative life.
So, in an effort to rekindle that flame, I've decided to challenge myself to paint through smiles and finish an old watercolor piece. <3